party rock is in the house tonight

party rockers in the house tonight

You know the hot ones series, with the sauces. I want us to consider something, which is how fundamentally hilarious it would be for Anakin and Obi-Wan to go on this series. I want you to imagine this, the funniest war propaganda they ever think of. Obi-Wan is red in the face, crying choking hoarse. But it’s like. Bottle four. Meanwhile, Anakin grew up in a culture where spice was used not only as flavor, but also a preservative. He’s had curries that would make the inexperienced hallucinate. He coughs once to clear his throat when they get to “da bomb”, but then keeps talking. Obi-Wan is using all his Jedi reserve not to scream, and this man licks his fingers and is like :) I’ll take another

not to add onto this brilliance but i want to specify that they have to be on the same episode of hot ones. they are sitting next to each other while this happens. obi-wan was expected to do the talking and actual insert propaganda reel here but he's suddenly incapable, rendered ineffective by the scolville scale and its torments, while anakin suddenly has to hold a conversation with a normal person. embarrassing for both of them. anakin talks about his favorite space celine dion album for 23 and 1/2 minutes

OH THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS PICTURING. Like at sauce six obi-wan is just staring at Anakin with objective repulsion. Genuine, real horror. And it’s bc Anakin is trying to explain this really deep, emotional concept the Jedi have about defending the innocent. And obi-wan stopped being able to feel his tongue two sauces ago

like a) anakin pulls the wine glass out of his sleeve and the host is sitting there, baffled, like why would anyone have this, is he being punked, and b) anakin takes the pepto bismol out of obi-wan's belt, which implies a weird level of codependence the host can't think about. and then the entire time anakin's saying some total nonsense about jedi theology. he's like, "i dreamed of the jedi as a child - for i do not sleep, i only dream - and in those visions i foresaw heroes," and the host has to both parse that and the wine glass-bismol tactical manuever, and the fact that obi-wan is grunting and panting like an exhausted boar before he finally snaps, "what are you fucking saying, anakin," right in front of the camera. there is not enough milk in the universe for what obi-wan's going through. i also think it is imperative that anakin is so invested in the nonsense he's saying that he starts pouring out the pepto bismol about a solid inch from the actual glass it's supposed to be in. it takes him most of the bottle to realize.

This is inspiring, but let’s go even further. I want their weird codependency to be on full scale. Anakin starts pouring it on the table, and obi-wan nudges the glass so it catches the medicine because frankly he’s starting to experience a ring of fire in his ass and they’re only half way through. He needs that elixir. (I think he calls pepto bismol “my stomach potion”) Anakin keeps pouring until the glass is full, and obi-wan takes it and throws that shit back like he’s 20 at a house party with whiskey. He then puts it back under the spigot of medicine.

When Obi-Wan scolds him for spilling, they start arguing. They argue through the next two wings. The host is frantically looking at the crew filming this bc he has no idea if he needs to stop this. Anakin has begun gesturing menacingly with the chicken wings. The host desperately tries to run a bit where he pulls up funny clips of soldiers goofing off on the front, to make the war effort seem you know, funny and memeable. I mean they can’t even air this.

brilliant evolution. i love the emphasis on the "two halves of the same warrior" element of their relationship, and how absolutely baffling that has to look to a normal individual. making the "stomach potion" bit a parenthetical statement was an inspired motion. 10/10 work.

i think the argument begins because obi-wan complains about the spillage (which is not insignificant, he really wasn't paying attention) and the anakin dumps the rest of the bottle in his lap, and as you have pointed out obi-wan desperately requires that elixir. "you choose NOW to be yourself, of all times!" obi-wan yelps, dabbing at his now pink robes with a really pathetic cocktail napkin that managed to produce itself somewhere around when the wine glass did. there are other napkins. he just chose the smallest one. and then anakin snaps, "bold statement coming from you, you were BORN ANNOYING," and obi-wan is still struggling with the stain, but instead of grabbing a larger napkin, he asks the host very politely for a glass of water and then dumps it in his own lap. like he just lost all ability to reason through the problem. after that inscrutable display, he turns to anakin and says, "you have given me a migraine every day since i met you," and that's when anakin grabs a dicarded wing bone and moves to use it like a shiv. the host mouths "help" and that's when they try the War Crime Tiktoks

I just realized that this episode goes so bad they call in other Jedi to do it and I’m insistent that it’s the entire Council. Obi-Wan has to be made to do this horrific affair TWICE, and he was the sensitive one!!!! His one satisfaction in life during that time is seeing Ki Adi Mundi pause to quietly vomit when they get to Da Bomb. His one nightmare? The thing that keeps him up at night with the great existential dread, his call of Cthulhu, the knowledge that drives him mad? The fact that Yoda sucks all ten wings off the bone, and never even flinches.

obi-wan on hot ones when anakin is with him: i hate you. you're awful. you're the reason i have gray hair, high blood pressure and a migraine that won't go away. fuck you

obi-wan on hot ones when anakin isn't with him: Someone Has Removed All Of The Joy From My Life......... How Could This Be

Make this break containment please i want. To See

funniest thing about the thing (1982) is that the titular thing is both a master manipulator who can perfectly replicate anyone but also a big bundle of nerves who flips out and starts screaming and turning into 5000 meat parts at once the INSTANT it’s found out

like at one point the thing replicates a guy who has a heart condition, promptly has a heart attack, and then gets so freaked out by the defibrillator it starts biting people

the thing is a master actor who is absolutely awful at improv and the show keeps going wrong

What if in hollow knight it's permanently night not because of the stasis but because the radiance is the literal sun and she's caged. What then

thank you scherz et al. for bringing us the frogs Mini ature, Mini mum and of course, the Mini scule

Glad to see we made one scientist very happy

I think this magician got really excited about Anubis partway through writing this papyri and happened to invent my new favorite epithet

DOG DOG DOG

DOG DOG DOG

𓃣𓃣𓃣

σκύλος σκύλος σκύλος

كلب كلب كلب

I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

and the thrilling sequel: i consumed a media months ago and you are still hearing about it

who has the artfight down picture

Me seeing the video playing silently: Oh yeah this is gonna have some rad sound